A new type of game

So over the weekend I took a lovely Easter trip with my Familia. We went to Mammoth Cave. For anyone not in the know, it is the longest cave system in the world and is only about two hours from my place of residence. Also I am dumb/nerdy/geeky enough to enjoy it. Immensely.

We went on two tours. The first tour was a tour done entirely by lantern light. For anyone who has never been in a cave with lantern light ever before I would recommend trying. It was the same as the last time I did it except I got to be the special volunteer who walked the lanterns down the secret path and back so everyone could experience the magic of "Sunset-Sunrise."

The main thing about this tour is that more than half of the tour is in places that are to this day unlit by any electric lighting and are only traversed by the one tour that I was on. It is an interesting thing to know that there is no backup and that your little lantern is the only thing keeping you sane.

The next tour we went on was the next morning. It starts at 10, and is four hours long, includes a lunch at 11 and has lots of walking and hills in it. My family had hoped that this would keep out the "Shoebies" (Rocket Power references should be commonplace in every one's lives) and allow us to enjoy a brisk walk through the cave where we could observe its natural beauty and splendor in a peaceful environment. We were wrong, dead wrong.

(This post is under the rant category so please forgive any lack of writing skill it may contain. From now on we will call it a bonus feature of any "Rant" posts I might do.)

The following game is inspired by the preceding events.

Tourist 2010

This new next-gen game promises to break every boundary of gaming sciences as it brings you the true experiences of tourism at its best. Visiting places such as national parks, theme parks, thrill parks you will be able to manipulate emotions like never before. Cause other visitors to hate you on principle and the staff to have such deep burning loathing for you they quit their jobs. Enjoy every moment over and over again with our Security cam replay feature.

You are a tourist whose goal is to enjoy yourself as much as possible with no regard to anyone else in the park. Use many different techniques to create as much mayhem/confusion/destructive tendencies as possible.

Work to gain special un-spend-able goal points

Rides goals
-insist your child is tall enough and that the other guy said he would be fine causing more than 200 people to wait more than 30 minutes for you
-Force management to close a ride for you so you can get a photo you dropped while riding
-Cause enough commotion at a carnival game that your child gets a stuffed toy as well even though he lost
-Cite the first amendment in an attempt to get a picture of you riding and giving the Bird.

Theme park goals
-take more than five pictures of your child with a Costumed character while they are crying the entire time
-allow your child to cry for more than an hour
-force other people's children to wait for 10 minutes while your child throws a tantrum
-Refuse to leave a line after your child has left and is running unattended throughout the queue

National park goals
-Blind entire tour with one attempted photo
-Take more than 50 pictures within a 10 foot radius.
-Pass someone 5 times in a 5 minute period while you take pictures of other family members.
-Allow your children to run around throughout the group completely unattended.
-Encourage your children when they ask entirely unrelated questions.
-Cause your guides mental trauma from your questions.

Coming to a Park near you sooner than you think!

Thought of the day:
Colleen is a scary guide, possible ghost.